Tetanus might be third, because where are you getting your booster shots these days? Dark horse candidate for fifth on the kill-your-ass-dead list: rabies. Think about all the zombie meat that your average feral animal is eating.
Comments Shares With The Walking Dead season 9 nearly here, what better way to re-immerse yourself into the sticky, humid air of dystopian Atlanta than with our episode-by-episode Walking Dead season 8 recap? I mean, sure, you could just watch the show itself but, as anyone who's read our The Walking Dead season 8 review will know Instead, you can catch up on every season 8 episode just by reading the no-nonsense plot recaps below, before the season 9 premiere airs later this week.
Indeed, we've already caught a sneak preview of The Walking Dead season 9 , and reckon it's worth watching purely on the basis of its fresh coat of paint alone. Once you have caught up on the latest developments in Alexandria, Sanctuary, Hilltop, and The Kingdom, have a read of our The Walking Dead season 8 ending analysis to see what season 9 might hold in story for Rick, Maggie, and the rest of our intrepid survivors.
Oh, and it should go without saying, but there's major story spoilers for The Walking Dead season 8 beyond this point. Nothing could quite compete with that. That may not have quite translated throughout the rest of the season, but it certainly was a good opener.
Carl meets a man in a gas station whilst he and Rick are looking for fuel. Carl wants to give him food, but Rick scares him off by firing a gun above his head. Instead, the group attack the Sanctuary, taking down its defences to allow the Walkers to flood in.
Jesus stops Tara and Mogan from killing a group of Saviours, instead taking them as hostages, causing Morgan to have a bit of a breakdown. Elsewhere, Daryl and Rick are clearing an outpost when Rock is confronted and held at gunpoint by a chap called Morales, who he knew from way back in Atlanta.
But now Morales is a Saviour… Queue the credits. Well, nearly, actually.
Oh and Jerry, who rushes in to save Ezekiel from death. The trio attempt to carry the wounded Ezekiel back to the Kingdom, but en route get surrounded by extra toxic Walkers.
They all managed to get back to the Kingdom safely, but Ezekiel is overcome with self-doubt and anguish. But, in true Walking Dead style, it resolves the whole matter in the slowest possible manner.
Cheers AMC. The workers at the Sanctuary begin to revolt, but are stopped before a riot ensues by the reappearance of Negan.
He locks the now very ill Gabriel in a cell that happens when you cover yourself in Walker guts , where Eugene discovers him. You know, the folks that totally double-crossed him in the last fight against Negan.
Carl meets up with the chap from back at the gas station, and after the pair fight off some Walkers, Carl manages to recruit him to help protect Alexandria.
Maggie tries to deal with her new captured Saviours and then chucks Gregory in the cage with them when he tries to defy her authority again!
It was a week of power plays and half-naked Rick. Half-naked Rick manages to convince Jadis to help them you can see how this will go , but not before he has to fight another suped-up Walker filled with blades and wearing a helmet.
Rick arrives only to see the gaping hole in the side of the Sanctuary and not a Walker in sight. They split up so they can take on the groups from the Hilltop and the Kingdom, before going straight to Alexandria to see Rick.
Ezekiel gets the Kingdom residents to safety, but locks himself inside with the Saviours. At Alexandria, Carl puts together a plan to get the community into the sewers to hide.
And most of that redemption came in the form of young master Carl Grimes. Really, AMC? Another annoying kid turned killer? Simon begins a mini coup against Negan by mowing down every last Heapster except Jadis. Rick returns to the Junkyard to discover Simon's crimes, but leaves Jadis abandoned amongst her zombified friends after he realises she's lost her usefulness.
Jadis herself has dropped the cult act, too, and makes mince meat of her former crew with an industrial compacter.
Tara's desperate to kill Dwight and after a short chase, Dwight goes back to the Saviours, who still don't know he's been batting for Rick's team. Thanks to him, the Alexandrians get to where they're going safely. Nice one, Dwight.
Tara get in the naughty corner. Gabriel and Dr. Carson have escaped the Sanctuary, although the priest is still sick and having major issues with his sight. After a lot of God's guidance talk and a couple of close shaves, the pair are re-captured by the Saviours and Dr.
Carson dies in the scuffle. Gabriel loses the plot, and ends up sorting bullets at Eugene's new outpost, where he's already getting too big for his boots.
Meanwhile Negan decides to dip his bullets in Walker blood before heading off to fight Hilltop. Ahh, hence the episode's title But Rick spots the convey from a lookout spot, and decides to try and take down Negan himself.
Neither are hurt, but Negan goes missing. With Negan gone, Simon takes this moment to try and convince Dwight to join his uprising. Simon immediately rallies the troops to turn the plan to injure the Hilltop residents to an all out murderous rampage, which they agree to.
Meanwhile at the Hilltop, a set of crates have appeared outside their walls with a note offering to swap food or records for knowledge. Maggie, Michonne, and Enid decide to do the exchange, and Georgie gives them a book of instructions for how to make structures like mills and other food making, future life-changing buildings.
Members of both sides are killed, but the Hilltop crew have no idea that their injured are ticking Walker time bombs. Predictably everyone who was injured turns in the night, and Rick and co have to take a lot of survivors out. Elsewhere, Henry decides to steal a machine gun, goes into the cage with all the Saviour hostages, and demands to know who killed his brother.
Of course, everything goes wrong, the hostages take his gun and escape, and then little darling Henry goes missing. Well, she also managed to leave him next to a big bag of guns, and then let him go after both of them watched the mysterious helicopter arrive at the junkyard and then leave again.
Nice one Jadis. Elsewhere, Rick goes a little bit mad. He and Morgan decide to brutality murder every single one of the Saviours that once were the Hilltop hostages, despite the fact that all of them bar that annoying long-haired one wants to go back to the Hilltop and beg for forgiveness.
The blood and guts comes very much in contrast to the rest of the episode though, where Morgan, Michonne, and Carol all get a bit emotional about everything, especially the missing boy, Henry.
Thankfully, Carol manages to find him and get him back to the Hilltop unscathed. But not before we see Negan let a mysterious stranger into his car en route back to the Sanctuary Negan ends up killing Simon in a fist fight in front of the entire Saviour clan, after Dwight sets up a scenario where he gets caught out betraying Negan.
Dwight thinks he's gotten away with being a mole, gives a map with Negan's actually fake plan on it to Gregory to deliver to Maggie, but is caught out when it turns out Negan's passenger in episode 14 was actually Laura who tells Negan the truth about Dwight, whose fate is left hanging by the end of the episode.
Meanwhile, Rosita and Daryl take Eugene hostage, but he manages to escape by vomiting on Rosita. And a lot of time is spent watching Aaron trying to survive on the outskirts of the Oceanside clan as he attempts to gain their trust.
The "all out war" finally happens, with Eugene actually playing bat for the Alexandrians again by rigging the Saviours' bullets to explode when fired.
Rick and Negan finally have their major fight, and although Rick cuts Negan's throat, he survives after Rick decides he needs to be saved, so he can watch them build a new future through the bars of his forever cell. Jesus, Maggie, and Daryl really aren't happy about that though and plot to make Rick and Michonne pay for their mistakes.